


beneath the street lights

by sheepweeps



Series: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020 [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Goshiki is a kind human, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Reunions, Reunited and It Feels So Good, That's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:14:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25017565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheepweeps/pseuds/sheepweeps
Summary: Goshiki thought that the last moment he'd share with Shirabu was 5 years ago.
Relationships: Goshiki Tsutomu/Shirabu Kenjirou
Series: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1807615
Kudos: 37
Collections: Shiratorizawa Fanweek 2020





	beneath the street lights

**Author's Note:**

> STZ FANWEEK DAY4: Reunion

Goshiki can still feel the worn out smile he wore the whole afternoon 5 years ago. His uneasy heartbeat was fluttering and the clouds forming in the distant sky was alarmingly rumbling. He knew that the raindrops would fall any minute, but he urged himself to stay.

He grasped for a lie that he thought was the truth and ingrained it to his young foolish mind. Believing in false hope was the only thing that can aid him from breaking his worn out grin.

The nimbus clouds blocked even a shed of light for the sun to come through and the cold breeze passing his face was a sheer remembrance that an hour has passed. The schoolyard was silent for once, the absence of students made time slow down in a torturous pace.

Shirabu will come, Goshiki knew he would. 

He gripped the rose he was holding and forced himself not to clench his gift. A rose he had brought began to droop, slowly wilting from his grasp.

A moment has passed and he felt the cold drops pouring down his face, letting his clothes get drenched. He felt naïve, he always hoped for everything and it all crashed down to him, on that very moment he realized that the inkling pride he has was still too fragile. Too weak.

Goshiki didn’t know if it was the tears or the raindrops that first fell on that very day.

-

Deep down Goshiki felt distant from everyone he’d ever met. There was a sense of inferiority that formed within him and grew to an exponential amount as time passed by. He’d never show it to anyone since weakness was not a welcoming sight to people since they’ll use it for their advantage.

Shirabu was different though, he came to Goshiki’s life like a slam on a brick wall. His relentless words in a critique yet, harsh manner was at first a pain to his ass. But, those words that were dipped with ferocity were in fact projected for him to improve.

They weren’t in good terms when he was the new kid on their team. They almost argue whenever a side spew by Shirabu was heard, but the third years before always held them back. They always did, they kept the team in order and shared a bond that made the team a family. So when they were gone, they were left to pick up the pieces and make the team a whole again.

Shirabu was given the responsibility to be their captain. Goshiki didn’t know if it was an honor or a burden for the other’s part, but Shirabu managed to hold the team together. The pressure was immense, yet unbearable as it may seem their new captain strived for improvement.

They grew to be closer with Shirabu and Taichi’s last year coming by. It was a reminder that Goshiki would be left alone by the two people that were a fragment of his first ever team that treated him like family.

Shirabu didn’t change his manner of speaking, but overtime Goshiki learned how to banter and treat his upperclassman in a friendly way. Him being the ace and Shirabu being the setter also helped their relationship ease into a comfortable relationship.

He still remembers how Shirabu looked at him with stark concentration and told him how failure held a reason and how pride shatters in minutes.

Those words drove him to a pit of understanding and the sudden hug triggered his sobs to break when they lost their chance for the nationals.

He grew to love Shirabu’s tedious eyes hidden with concern, his copper hair flopping up and down whenever he moves and the slight smile he tried to hide when they talk. 

Goshiki loves him and he knows that Shirabu became a part of his life for even just a moment.

Sadly, the last day before graduation where he was not given the chance to admit his feelings is the last thing that happened between them.

So when he saw Shirabu at the entry way of after his match he didn’t know that there was still something left between the two of them.

Goshiki gulped and animatedly jumped backwards when he saw Shirabu’s back at the door. He was tempted to make a change of direction but there was a bigger sense of obligation to face his upperclassman. He slowly trudged the spotless tiles of the hallway and mentally offered himself a pat on the back for reassurance.

He hoped it wasn’t him, he wasn’t prepared to meet Shirabu, his all-time gremlin captain that he secretly held feelings for.

The closer he got, his panicking brain kept sputtering conversational starters that were honestly useless when talking to him. When he was only six feet away he was deadly serious that it really was Shirabu, his copper hair and cool demeanor was a proof.

He approached the young man and looked at him, his mouth was dry and the words that he planned to say was shoved back to his insides. 

Shirabu finally looked back and his calm expression made Goshiki slightly relaxed.

“I just wanted to say hi Shirabu-san.”

Shirabu pierced his gaze onto him and nodded.

“It’s nice to meet you again Goshiki.” He finally replied and motioned his body across the raven-haired man.

“So…what brings you here?”

“I came here to feed the ducks.” Shirabu nonchalantly said allowing his posture to relax.

“Ducks?” He asked, confused by what his companion was saying.

Shirabu sighed and softly made contact with Goshiki’s eyes again making the latter flustered.

“Charming as ever Goshiki. I watched your game obviously, and congratulations for the win.” He smiled slightly and looked at the exit sign that they were blocking.

“Can we talk for a while?” Shirabu added, glancing at the younger for approval.

Goshiki nodded, they headed to a small bench near the parking lot surrounded by trees. The sky was already turning to a dark orange hue and it was quieter than the entryway they were in.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t come and see you before leaving that day.” Shirabu said as soon as they sat.

The younger blinked owlishly, he’s trying to form words he’d wanted to say 5 years ago, but nothing came. The awkward air surrounding them was thick, alongside the distance they tried to make on the wooden bench.

“You don’t have to feel sorry, it was a long time ago anyway.” He finally answered, occupying his nervousness by wringing his hands.

“Don’t say that. It defeats the purpose of me coming here.” Shirabu smiled slightly, he was tapping his fingers on the hard wood, his eyes were straightly looking at the sky.

Goshiki still feels pain whenever he looks back at his considered rejection. He remembered the intense feeling of insecurity clawing down on him that made him feel unworthy for Shirabu. Being rejected didn’t make him mad, it made him small. He knew that Shirabu always had a reason, and the unsettled feeling didn’t bubble up to hate. 

“Why…didn’t you show up?” Those were the only words his mouth tried to offer. 

He knew that an explanation was needed for the both of them. After that, well, they can both go their separate ways and never discuss his failure ever again.

The street lights flickered on automatically, the light pouring in and letting the darkness cease made Shirabu’s beautiful features hard to take in. 

“I knew that you were about to confess. I didn’t know how to react so this is me five years later owning up to what my past teenage-self failed to do.” Shirabu mockingly pointed at himself, his face was overtaken with aggravation, clear annoyance was seen in his eyes.

Goshiki moved his prying eyes to the tip of his shoes. Finding solace from distracting himself with things unrelated to the man beside him. The atmosphere was unsettling, he still doesn’t know how to approach the matter at hand.

“Hey, did you remember when you told me how pride can shatter in a matter of minutes?” He still kept his eyes on his shoes, scanning the shadow his shoes were casting on the gravel.

“Yeah. Why are you bringing this up?”

“Well, I thought my pride shattered when we lost our last match together. But, overtime I managed to get it back and when I garnered enough courage that faithful day it broke again.”

Shirabu didn’t respond, making him explain his thoughts even further.

“You were right about how easily it can get crushed but back then I thought that after fixing myself it can be as impenetrable as how I wanted it to be. However, it kept on breaking and soon I realized that fixing it was tiring.”

Goshiki smiled at his supposed buffoonery, that sense of inferiority making a toll out of him in some days he deemed bad.

“It was tiring to be me. I didn’t want to admit how fragile I am until that very day.” He added, he tapped his shoes slowly, and his hands were now inside the pockets of his jacket seeking warmth.

It was quiet for a brief moment. Maybe the words he said were not what he was supposed to say. He knows he’s not the best when it comes to consoling others. 

But, knowing him, he wishes that Shirabu was trying to understand everything he said just like the past.

“Pride is something you get from your own sense of pleasure and it’s also inconsistent. People change and overtime they realize how much they don’t know about themselves. Inconsistency is nerve wracking and for pride to have that aspect I guess it’s tiring to understand ourselves.” Shirabu said without a pause, his words still left an impact on him.

Goshiki looked at the man beside him, slowly motioning his body to face the beautiful man completely.

“I don’t know who you are now, since it’s been a long time. However, I still feel an inkling of my pride left in you.” The shorter man added and laid his eyes on Goshiki’s face. 

Shirabu smiled softly, his eyes that were always glaring back were filled with sincerity directed to him.

“After all these years, do you now have an answer?” His own question took him aback, he wasn’t supposed to ask.

Shirabu was still staring at him. His smile faltered a bit and his hands stopped tapping the bench.

“It actually depends on you actually, if you don’t despise me then I’d like to mend our relationship and ask you for a date.”

Well, he expected for a full on rejection. But with Shirabu’s proposition maybe a chance was worth giving.

“I’d never despise you, I can’t seem to dislike you even if I try. So…yes I’d take your offer.” Goshiki grinned while uttering those words.

His hand escaped the warmth of his jacket and held Shirabu’s hand for reassurance, tightening his grip to comfort also himself, as if he was scared of letting this encounter be a dream. The latter followed and held his hand with the same energy.

It wasn’t like the last time.

The sky was clear and the sadness he felt that day was replaced with Shirabu’s heartfelt smile all over his face.

**Author's Note:**

> Woah, I'm back with another goshira fic.
> 
> I'm not complaining though :-D
> 
> twitter: @shirabangs


End file.
